I have been trying so hard to understand this Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce obsession that MAGA people are losing their collective minds over right now. I think I’ve finally nailed it down: Celebrity envy.
I have done the hard work of coming up with a list of celebrities who support Donald Trump. They are mostly old, over-the-hill white guys, like Jon Voight and Ted Nugent. And Ye. So I went in search of celebrity MAGA women who could possibly date an NFL star. Please note that a couple of these women are already married. But in MAGA world, that doesn’t seem to matter, e.g. Moms for Liberty Bridget Ziegler and her three-way in Sarasota. With a woman who was not a football player.
I found four women entertainers who have publicly supported Trump. I never heard of a couple of them. And only one isn’t at least 10 years older than Swift.
But I can’t find any NFL players who still openly support Trump. Anybody know one?
So, here goes the matchmaking:
Roseanne Barr — Seen above with her man. Maybe she could date Brett Favre, a football player who is also a Trump supporter, if Favre divorces his wife.
Taryn Manning — Ironically, an Orange Is the New Black actress. Unless you watch OITNB, you’ve probably never heard of her. I DID watch the first few seasons of OITNB, and I still didn’t know who she was. I DO remember the character she played, who was VERY creepy. She’s single and in her late 40’s. Any ideas for a beau?
Kristy Swanson — Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Wow! She’s in her 50’s, but somebody would certainly want to date her! Oops — she’s married and has a kid. Never mind...
Sexxy Red — A rapper who I never heard of, BUT she’s actually YOUNGER than Taylor Swift! Only 25! She is not married, but she announced in October that she IS pregnant. She did not announce who the father is. Also in October she announced that she’s supporting Donald Trump. I think of the four, she could be the one to get hooked up with a football player.
That’s all, folks. Not one is in the same league as Taylor Swift. And I don’t mean the National Football League. Face it — hardly anyone is in the same league as Swift. Beyonce, Rihanna, a few others. That’s it.
And now you know why they’re so utterly terrified of Swift and Kelce. They are two people who are both wildly successful and famous in their chosen entertainment fields. And they are young! They have millions and millions of fans who are young! And one of them, Swift, has been telling these millions of young people to vote!
Certainly Republicans could get Roseanne Barr or Sexxy Red to encourage young conservative people to register to vote, couldn’t they?
Seriously, the Swift-Kelce romance is just a huge reminder to Republicans that they are the party of the past and the old — old ideas, old people, and young people who think like old people. Swift-Kelce are the couple of the present and the future with millions of young followers who share their values. It is a daily reminder to the MAGA crowd that their view of the world is only a reflection in the rearview mirror.
And if they don’t like it, then they need to round up the equivalent of a Swift-Kelce relationship and get over their celebrity envy. Based on the above list, I wish them all the luck in the world with that endeavor. They’re going to need it.